I point in the direction of Heydrich’s office with a trembling hand. “It was him.” Reinhardt looks where I’m pointing and then back at me, confused.
I’m know babbling but I can’t get my thoughts to line up properly. “It was Dad. Dozens of people. His friends. I was ready to go to prison for Peter and a group of people I’d never even met and yet he looked us all in the eyes day after day and he lied to us. He always said that I should be careful, that anyone could be an informant, but I never thought he meant him.”
It’s the betrayal that I can’t fathom, that he thought he and I could live happily in the West knowing all the people we’d been closest to were in prison. It would have been freedom bought at too dear a price. Why couldn’t he see that? Did he think I could have been glad that we were together knowing what he’d done?
“Liebling, I don’t understand what you’re saying. What has your father done? Who is Peter?”
I grab Reinhardt’s arms and look up into his bewildered face. I can’t go another heartbeat not knowing if he’s lied to me as well. “This is the only opportunity I’m going to give you to confess. If you’ve ever lied to me and I find out later I will kill you.” I’ve never so much as baited a mousetrap but I know with thundering certainty that I will pick up a gun or a knife and murder Reinhardt if I find out he’s been deceiving me.
He doesn’t tell me I’m being hysterical. He doesn’t insist on knowing what I’m talking about. His hand covers mine and he speaks softly. “Evony, I’ve told you before that I’ve never lied to you.”
But I’m still not satisfied. “Did you know about any of this?” I take the report out of my pocket and thrust it at him.
Reinhardt unfolds the paper and reads it, his face darkening by increments. “Where did you get this?”
“Did you hide any of this from me? Did you know?”
He looks at me steadily, the clear afternoon sunshine lightening his eyes to blue. “No, I didn’t. I suspected there was something Heydrich wasn’t telling me about the raid but I didn’t know the informant was your father. I’m sorry.”
Informant. The word makes me sick. I know I’m a hypocrite, sleeping with the enemy, loving the enemy, but I’ve never sold out my friends or family to the Stasi and I never would, no matter how much Reinhardt cajoled or persuaded me.
But then, he’s never tried. He’s never been interested in the others. Just in me.
Reinhardt holds up the report. “Evony, I know you’re upset but you need to tell me where you got this.”
“Heydrich’s office. I broke into his desk.”
For a second Reinhardt looks like he’s about to explode. Then with effort he reins himself in. “Did anyone see you?”
“Peter. My contact. The mail room boy. He was walking past and he gave me such a strange look—I think he knows what I was doing there. He’s going to tell Heydrich.” I let go of Reinhardt’s arms. Now that the adrenaline is wearing off I’m starting to feel afraid. If Peter didn’t know who I was before he’s certainly going to realize now.
“Heydrich is in Leipzig. It will take him some time to get back here and confirm which papers you took.” Reinhardt passes a hand through his hair, thinking. “I’m taking you home, now. Get your coat.”
As I leave the office he picks up the phone and calls down to Hans and tells him to meet us with the car at the rear of the building. Lenore looks up from her typewriter as I hurry past and yank my coat off the stand, her pretty face an oval of surprise. “Is everything all right?”
I shake my head, hands tight on the woolen fabric. “I’m—I’m not well. Herr Oberstleutnant is taking me home.” I look at her, hesitating, feeling like I should thank her for her friendship these past months because I have an ominous feeling I’m never going to see her again. But there’s nothing I can say without alarming her so I give her a last look as Reinhardt strides out of his office and takes my arm, and then we’re heading down the corridor, away from the elevators. He takes us down the rear stairs and into the laneway behind HQ where the black Mercedes-Benz is waiting.
I want to talk in the back of the car but as soon as I open my mouth Reinhardt hushes me and grips my hand tightly. We ride in silence, his gloved hand holding mine.
As soon as we’re inside his cool, empty apartment his puts both hands on my shoulders and turns me toward him. I haven’t seem him look so tense since Ulrich nearly strangled me to death.
“Evony, I know you’re upset but I need you to listen to me. Go and pack a bag, a small one, only essentials, and then come straight back. Can you do that for me?”
“Why?”
“I’m taking you to West Berlin tonight.”
My mouth falls open in surprise. I wasn’t expecting this. I thought he’d ask more questions, pace up and down, find some way to fix this.
But it’s too la
te. They know who I am and it won’t be long until they guess I’m loyal to Reinhardt. That he’s been harboring a fugitive in his apartment. And, once they start digging, they’ll discover that he’s been helping others escape to the West.
Hope and happiness flares in my chest. He has to escape too—we can go together. It’s the perfect solution. “Then you’re coming with me. You’re in as much danger as I am.”
He shakes his head. “Liebling, I can’t.”
“Why not? We’re both in danger and we can both defect.”