Hollis
I satup in a cold sweat, breaths leaving my body in erratic, uneven huffs. Pushing my hair out of my eyes, I had to fight calling out for him.
Bates had always been the only thing in the world that would be able to calm the night terrors.
When the moments that I thought I had tucked away forever—the ones where they were so hellbent on killing me in that goddamn bathroom—replayed on a loop of terror that I didn’t think I’d ever be able to escape from.
Each and every time I’ve woken up from such a horrible nightmare, Bates would always hold me close.
‘What are you afraid of, Holls? I’m here now. No one will ever hurt you again.’
It was the same question, followed by the same solemn vow whenever I would collapse against him, shaken and full of renewed hatred toward myself again.
He wasn’t here now, and perhaps, he never would be again.
I would have gotten the one thing I wanted and equally despised more than I did myself.
A life without Bates Murphy.
No, I thought as I shook my head vehemently and wrapped my arms around myself. That would be worse than having to spend my life trapped inside of this fucking body.
Taking a steadying breath, I dropped my hands onto the blanket and shoved it away. I inched my legs over the side of the bed, letting the tips of my toes graze the carpet.
A soft sigh escaped me as a small smile curved my lips.
Flashes of the last time I found myself underneath Bates, one hand wrapped firmly around my throat while he ravaged me danced before my eyes.
He loved me more than I thought anyone could be capable of loving someone and whenever he held me down and fucked me, I found myself consumed by it.
Not just the action, but the emotion itself.
He always had a special way of making me feel with more than just our bodies, and I knew I couldn’t give that up.
I wouldn’t.
That’s why Rebecca became a project. Granted, I think he was afraid to say no to me when he saw what I had begun to do to her, but he helped me because he loved me.
Unequivocal love that I knew I wasn’t worthy of, that I knew he could receive back from another woman that would have less hatred for herself, but nothing seemed to push him away.
No matter how hard I tried.
Wiping away the tears that fell down my cheeks, I walked over to our bedroom window and pushed the curtain aside.
Come home, Bates.
Please.
___
“Stop it,” I grumbled as I swatted a hand away. A familiar chuckle greeted my ears and I forced one of my heavy eyelids open.
“Do you know any other line when I wake you up?”
I sat up instantly and looked over at Bates who was sitting on the side of the bed, a grin spread across his handsome face.
“You came back?” I asked, my voice small and shaky.
His gaze softened as he tilted his head and shook his head slightly. “Of course I did, Holls. You know I’ll always come home to you.”