Turning around, Grace smiled as she wrapped her arms around my neck. “You bet your ass you’re going to make it up to me.”
Lifting an eyebrow, I asked, “What did you have in mind?”
Angela cleared her throat and Grace dropped her arms and spun back toward the stove.
“Excuse me, Noah. Your mom is asking for more morphine. When I was talking to her, she seemed to be getting confused very easily.”
My heart felt as if it stopped beating.
“I noticed that earlier as well,” Grace said in almost a whisper.
Angela looked down and cleared her throat again before glancing back up at me. “Noah, I think we’re now looking at a matter of days. Her pain is growing worse and the more morphine we give her . . . well . . . you know this because we’ve talked about it.”
Nodding my head, I swallowed hard as Grace took my hand in her hand. “Do I need to call Emily?”
Angela took in a deep breath and pushed it back out quickly. “I can’t be sure. It could be another two weeks, or it could be another two hours.”
Sucking in a breath of air, I closed my eyes and counted to ten. My whole body felt as if it was slowly beginning to shut down.
“At the very least, I think you need to let her know. I’m going to go sit in there for awhile. I’d like to watch her breathing for a bit more.”
Nodding my head, I fought to find the words to speak. It felt as if my world seemed to slow down. I wasn’t sure what to do.
How would I be able to go on without my mother?
“Noah, why don’t you go on in with your mom and Angela and I’ll finish making breakfast.”
Looking directly at Grace, it felt as if I was seeing through her and staring out into a vast land of nothing.
Grace took a step closer to me and cupped my face with her hands. “Noah, look into my eyes.”
Doing as she asked, I was immediately taken with her soft hazel eyes. “Reach deep down inside of you, Noah. You have the strength . . . you just need to find it. Your mother needs to know you’re going to be okay.”
Closing my eyes, I asked, “Will I be okay?”
My body came to life as I felt Grace’s lips softly touch mine. “Yes, because I’m going to be right here with you. I’ll be your strength, Noah.”
Grace’s words penetrated my mind and my heart. I knew she was right. My mother wouldn’t want me falling apart. I needed to be strong for her. To show her it was okay to leave the pain behind.
Placing my hand over Grace’s, I leaned my head into her hand. “Thank you, Grace.”
Giving me a wink, Grace quickly kissed me and then dropped her hands and went back to cooking.
Walking out of the kitchen, I slowly made my way back to my mother. Stopping right outside the door, Angela looked at me. “If she falls into a coma, she’ll still be able to hear you. Don’t be afraid to talk to her. We find with most patients they wait until their loved ones say goodbye. Once she knows you’re going to be okay, she’ll move on.”
Move on.
Balling up my fists, I closed my eyes. I didn’t want my mother to move on. She needed to be here watching as my relationship with Grace grew to something more. Marriage. A family.
She needed to be here.
“Noah? Are you hearing what I’m saying to you?”
Nodding, I pulled out my phone and found Emily’s number. “I’ll be right in. I’m calling my sister.”
Angela nodded and opened the door. I peeked into the room and saw my mother sleeping. She looked like an angel. You’d never be able to tell that the cancer was destroying her a little bit more each
day.