I knew exactly what he meant. “There was this one time, at a concert I was at with Nate and Jennifer, and I swear I saw her. I even walked up to the girl, took her by the arm and turned her to face me. She looked exactly like Kate.”
We sat for a few moments, lost in our own memories of her. “Back to what Ava found out. Um … well … shit I don’t know how to say this so I’ll just say it like Ava did. Dad, Kate was pregnant when she died.”
His face turned white immediately. “What did you say?”
Jesus, I really am just like my father. “Kate, was pregnant. Jackson was the father. She wasn’t that far along, and from what Ava said, Kate had planned on telling the family but thought she had time to get things settled. Whatever she meant by that.”
He sat there staring at me. “Dad? You’re not having a heart attack or anything are you because I totally didn’t pay attention to a damn thing you said in that meeting just now.”
He blinked a few times and looked at me. “No … I’m not having a heart attack. I’m in shock. Let it sink in please before you start cracking jokes.”
“Sorry. I’m just unsure myself how to process this and it’s been over twenty-four hours since I found out.”
My father stood. “I agree, your mother shouldn’t know about this … at least not right now. Let me think about this. Have you told anyone else?”
“No. Ava’s only told me and we are having dinner with Jackson tonight.”
His eyes widened in horror. “What? Why?”
“I want answers.”
He frowned. “What kind of answers? Your sister was pregnant. Do you want Jackson to describe what they did?”
My stomach turned. “Ugh. Really, Dad? No, I want to know how she felt about it. Was she happy? Did they tell Jackson’s parents? What in the hell was she going to do being pregnant at seventeen and in high school?”
Shaking his head slowly, he walked up to me. “Ryder, what does any of that matter?”
The lump in my throat made it hard to talk. “I don’t know how to explain it, Dad, but I have to know.”
Standing, he walked over to me and put his hand on my shoulder. “I don’t know if Jackson is going to be able to tell you anything that is going to help.”
“I know.”
“All right, I don’t want you hanging on to some false hope that he can give you the answers you’re looking for.”
I nodded.
With a sigh, he said, “I’m heading back home. Kiss that beautiful fiancée of yours.”
He reached out his hand for mine. With a quick shake, he turned and grabbed his stuff and was out the door.
Walking over to the window, I looked out over the city. Helena was nothing compared to Austin, yet it was home and I loved it. What would life had been like for Kate had she lived? Would she have stayed here and gotten married?
I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the empty spot in my heart. “Damn it, Kate. Why did you leave us?”
I SAT ACROSS the table from Dani and Jennifer and listened to the two sisters go about some local event happening. Dani lived about an hour or so from Helena, so her coming in was not something she did often, but today she was thrilled to bring Lindsay in. Jennifer was currently holding the sleeping baby I couldn’t stop staring at.
The ache in my chest was strong as I started daydreaming about what a baby with Ryder would look like.
Light-brown hair. For sure her hair would be curly. Yes … she would have curly light-brown hair and blue eyes.
“Ava? You seem a million miles away,” Dani said with a concerned look.
Looking up from Lindsay, I forced a smile.
“Yep, totally fine. Sorry, I was just looking at Lindsay. She’s so beautiful.”
Something moved across Dani’s face. Looking at Lindsay, she looked back at me. “Ava. Are you pregnant?”